Graffeati: Lo Mein Me, Bro!

I’m back on this frigid January afternoon to bring you the past week’s food delivery order commentary. In this edition, we get a glimpse into the hearts and minds of our lovely customers. Deep, profound, insightful—these are just three of the many words that come to mind.

Mark in Iowa:

“Lo Mein me Bro, 2X CHOPSTICKS PLEASE!”

This guy is amped up about Chinese food! I don’t know if I’ve ever heard “Lo Mein” used as a verb. Our customers are able to manipulate the English language to convey new meanings and ideas. Well done, Lo Mein Legend!

John in Champaign had a particularly silly request. I thought I’d try my hand at and make it happen for you, John:

“Sausage Volkswagen logo”

Sausage

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Graffeati: Love, Promises, and a Wizard

Welcome to The January 15th edition of Graffeati. This week’s comments made me laugh, cry, say “awwww,” and scratch my head.  I even drew a picture.

Our first order comment comes from Robert in East Lansing. Rob’s a bit kinky:

“Talk dirty to me when you deliver”

I always knew MSU fans were weird. To each his own! It’s possible he’s been watching too many adult films on the internet…

Richard in Richmond (whoa…that’s meta…I wonder if he has lots of money):

 G4

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Graffeati

This will be our final installment of Graffeati for 2013. Without further ado:

Trish in Madison:

Deliver with swag

I’m assuming this means the food has to be delivered by a person dressed like a combination of Justin Bieber and Drake. Possibly write YOLO on the pizza box? Or maybe the pizza would be shaped in the form of Soulja Boy’s face? I guess I don’t really want to know what you hoped for with this request.

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Graffeati

Well its finals week for a lot of our customers and it seems like everyone is going a little bit crazy! Could be the weather having something to do with it. Anyways, now you can read these order comments while you’re cooped up studying!

Tim From Columbus:

Crust please J

Must have been studying so hard he forgot that pizzas come with crusts automatically. I hope they honored this request with an extra ring of crust.

 Brianna from Columbus:

I do not want a water I want Arizona

Some wires must have been crossed here. You can’t substitute a bottle of water for an entire state! That’s not how these comment sections work!

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Graffeati

I’m back and ready to share the ever-interesting order comments we’ve dubbed Graffeati! Without further ado:

Nate from Madison:

Any chance you can pick us up a case of beer too? We’d pay you back. I’m being serious.

I really hope the delivery driver followed through with this. Actually, on second thought, what legal-aged drinker would ask this of a delivery driver? We do not condone underage drinking here at EatStreet. But then again, on third thought, maybe Nate was trying avoid a trip through the frozen tundra that is Wisconsin. It’s a whopping 6 degrees right now. I guess we’ll never know.

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Graffeati

Welcome back to this week’s Graffeati and happy belated Thanksgiving! I’ll cut right to the chase.

Andrew in Ann Arbor:

Make this pizza as if you were making it for Beyonce Knowles

I’m just going to pretend that this food actually was for Beyonce — Beyonce is using our website!! OMG!!

Jim in Lawrence:

Write a haiku on the box!

If poem put on box,

Please send a photograph to

Bloggers at EatStreet

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Graffeati

To be perfectly honest, this week’s comments weren’t the best showing we’ve ever had. Pick it up people – make me laugh! It’s not hard. Even Jeff Foxworthy makes me laugh occasionally. Nonetheless, here are the comments from this week’s orders that gave me a chuckle.

First up, Christopher in Milwaukee:

Go to the door on the left of the building. Ring #4’s doorbell. No cops.

If I was the delivery driver on this, I would have brought backup. I wonder if this guy has had a past run-in with an undercover officer dressed as a delivery driver. That would be some DEEP cover. Well, deep dish maybe.

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Graffeati

As we read through this week’s comments, we laughed, we cried (only once), we cringed, and then we picked out our favorites.

Eric from Tucson gave us a great mental image:

“Disregard ‘beware of dog’ sign on gate — left from prior owners; I have small dogs and will have the dog door closed.”

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Graffeati

We’re back with another recap of our favorite order comments. Without further ado, here is the best comment of the week:

“This bro named Matt is picking up our pizza. Would you kindly give it to him. Thank you. Please give him a nice compliment if you can, e.g. ‘Your hair looks really voluminous today, it’s lovely.’” Ryan, Lexington, KY

 The last line was what pushed this comment into a tier above the rest. Admiration of someone’s voluminous hair is the ultimate form of flattery, especially for a “bro.”  I hope Matt’s day was made when he picked up his pizza. Who doesn’t like to be called lovely?

And here are our runners up:

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Graffeati

EatStreeters are among the goofiest, silliest, wittiest people on the planet. Want proof? Just have a look at some of our best order comments from the past week. We like to call these clever special requests “Graffeati.”

This one really stole our hearts:

“PLEASE write ‘Happy 9 Month Anniversary!’ on the inside of the box. – Tim, Oshkosh, WI

Nothing says “I love you” like a large two-topping. As far as I know, the two toppings were love and affection. Well done. May I suggest adding a side of mozzarella sticks for the one-year anniversary?

“A wise person once told me, ‘The only thing life owes us are lessons.’ And it’s become apparent over the last year that Bandung is delicious. haha lesson learned!” – Brent, Madison, WI

Bandung is definitely one of our most delicious restaurants in Madison! We love to hear people appreciate this true gem.

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