“A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have,” wrote Douglas Adams in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
He went on to explain the practical and psychological value of towels, but we consider paper towels to be an equally important component in anyone’s life. So important that it deserves its own holiday- Paper Towel Day. While messes may seem unnecessary, we find them quite crucial to the eating experience. Consuming with so much reckless jubilation and blatant disregard for proper eating form is the highest compliment one can give to a meal. Nevertheless, we have the ever-important, irreplaceable presence of everyone’s favorite paper pulp-based cloth.
Because the paper towel is such a unique and versatile product, there are countless things you could do with them. Most people only think of ripping off a few squares to accompany your latest meal. However, Paper Towel Day is the perfect time to sit back and reflect on how much more they’re capable of:
- Clean up chili cheese fries debris
- Tidy up your fridge to make room for more EatStreet leftovers
- Use as fire-starter for a bonfire after the oven declares war
- Build a small, flimsy tent to protect egg rolls and similar priceless family valuables
- Material for a terrible paper airplane
- Write love letters to your favorite pizza delivery drivers
- Unroll completely for a very long and narrow blanket
Since we’re feeling so inspired, here is our tribute to paper towels. Enjoy.
An Ode to Paper Towels
To cleanse my palm
and rinse my lip,
‘tis a thankless job
worthy of no quip.
We bid farewell to the ruins of meals past,
to greet our destined feasts, auspicious and vast.
To the fallen,
the spills, the splats, the stains.
I sit crestfallen,
as deterging this cuisine gives me most pain.
Held in highest regard,
yet known not except by this bard.
Laborious chores, never complete.
Bedraggled, grubby we all eat.
Oh paper towel, towel of paper.
Worth never realized,
but adoration never tapered.
Never hesitate to hit us up on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or Snapchat to share how you’re celebrating Paper Towel Day or if you just want to drop us a line. You can always order EatStreet online and on our free mobile app available for iOS and Android.