There are lots of awesome places to have a picnic. Yet there are a few venues the sane among us might do well to avoid…
#5: In a nuclear reactor.
-You will sprout extra arms, making it easier to spread jelly on multiple sandwiches at once
-The faint green glow from the uranium creates a romantic ambiance
-Mosquitos and other small bugs will be vaporized when they come close to you
-You’re eating inside a nuclear reactor
#4: In the ER. You’re hungry, we get it. But it’s no emergency. Leave the ER visits to the 5 year olds with marbles stuck up their noses and find a more suitable/less sterile environment to picnic.
#3: In a beehive. What could possibly compel you to even consider having a picnic in a beehive? The sensual aura of deafening buzzing? Maybe the elegant honeycomb walls? The home of thousands of flying, stinging insects is definitely close to the top of the list of worst places to picnic. However, if you manage to fit into a beehive to have a relaxing lunch, props to you. Make sure your picnic basket is large enough to pack an industrial-size tub of Benadryl.
#2: On a humpback whale. Although the humpback whale is one of the most majestic creatures in the deep blue sea, the constant wailing of “AAAHHHOOOHHH” paired with the high probability of drowning could make your meal a real bummer.
#1: Anywhere without Internet. How much fun is having a picnic on a beautiful day without being able to check your Twitter feed? Or, more importantly, not being able to order food from EatStreet? I’ll answer that for you: Zero. Zero fun.